Does your job leave you feeling unfulfilled? Have you reached the point where you know that you want to do work that has a deeper meaning and significance? And you also know to achieve that, you are going to have to quit your job? If yes, it is time to tell your husband.
When you are doing work that gives you a steady paycheck and other benefits, telling your husband you want to leave it all behind can be an uncomfortable place to be. It may not be the easiest conversation you have ever had, but it is one you know you need to have.
Every conversation will be different, but this script can help you prepare and have a talk with your husband about how you are really feeling. Follow these steps so that you can have that conversation with ease, authenticity and boldness.
How to Prepare for Your Conversation
Before you ever speak one word, there are some things to consider.
#1 – Have you prayed about this?
Prayer is always the place to start when you are considering a major life change. The truth is, you can see what is going on in your life right now, but God sees the whole picture of your life.
In your time of prayer and medication, what has God whispered to you? Is quitting your job within His will for your life? If so, how has He confirmed that?
#2 – How clear are you about quitting your job?
When you are in the middle of a struggle, it is difficult to see beyond right now. Try looking at your life five or ten years from now. If you stay at your job, will you have any regrets? Will you have any regrets if you quit now?
Be sure that you can answer these questions, honestly and authentically. Your mind should be absolutely clear that this is the course of action you need to take.
#3 – Why do you want to quit?
You are miserable – I get that. And you want to stop being miserable. That is important, but can you dig deeper? What else beyond that is spurring you to take this action? In other words, what is your bigger why? Do you want to spend more time with the important people in your life? Do you want to start a business, ministry or non-profit? Do you want to take better care of yourself?
Be very clear about your why. Clarity around this issue is the number one thing that will help you make your life changing decision work.
Timing and Setting
You know your husband better than anyone else. Chances are you have an idea of what his concerns are going to be regarding you quitting your job. It is important that you do not add additional concerns by trying to have this conversation at an inconvenient time or at the wrong place.
Go to the Lord in prayer and ask Him to guide you as you choose when and where to talk with your husband. Getting this part right goes a long way in having a successful conversation.
Begin with a Compelling Opening
I have something I’d like to discuss with you that I think will benefit our relationship [and our family].
I want to quit my job and here’s why: (outline the reasons you want to quit)
And this is how it’s going to be a good thing for us [and our family].
Outline Your Plan and How it will Benefit Your Relationship
My plan is to: (explain your future plans in detail)
That means I want to leave my job in ____ [days, weeks or months].
That’s when I’ll start: (briefly reiterate your plan and connect it to how it is going to be beneficial to your relationship [and your family])
Acknowledge Your Husband’s Questions and Concerns
I know you have questions and concerns about: (your reason for quitting, your future plans, financial considerations and anything else he brings up)
Your concerns are important to me.
And I know if we’re going to make this work, it has to be a team effort.
So, here’s a suggestion of how we can handle ______________: (outline possible solutions)
Yes, practice. The more comfortable you are with talking to with your husband about quitting your job, the more at ease you will be during the conversation and open to what he has to say. Practicing will help with that.
How you are feeling will influence what you say and how you say it. So mentally practice the conversation. See various possible questions and concerns and visualize yourself handling them with ease. Envision the outcome you are hoping for.
Real life conversations do not always take place in a linear way. With that in mind, use this script as a guide; change it up in the way that works best for you. If nothing else, use it as a checklist of things to think about before having your conversation with your husband.
If you would like a fill in the blanks worksheet for the script, you can download it here.